My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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