If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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