The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
