I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You made out with two different species that night
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
