She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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