Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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