i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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