the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
