Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Your shirt... Was in my pants
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
