thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
