After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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