Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
