Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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