marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
