I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Randomize
