I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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