I'm eating all of the evidence.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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