I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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