Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I cut my penus on the lid.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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