apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
