I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
