Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
