She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
