Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
