How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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