we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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