I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
