Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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