and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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