Just fell off a train. Bad.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
