i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
