my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize