stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
