ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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