I want to have your abortion
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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