Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
