She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
