I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
