i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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