Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize