JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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