I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
operation harelip BJ is a go
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
