she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
