I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Randomize
