oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
