We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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