yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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