I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
