until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize