so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
