he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
