I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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