Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
