Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
