please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
