he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
