Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize