Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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