kristin has been a bad kristin
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
