How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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